I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
