Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
