A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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