Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
