In the future we'll all be gay
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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