she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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