how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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