No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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