??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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