How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
