he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize