eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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