I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
