porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
