There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize