He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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