ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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