I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
