You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
