after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Go christen that room with your naked body.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
