all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
