lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
