Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize