why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The adults are the big ones right?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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