you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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