Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
