You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
