someone get that fucking seahorse.
just tell him i said nine months
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize