Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
