A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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