I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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