i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
