actually, I'm a sock model
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Randomize
