i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
