I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
These tits shall not be calmed
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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