Yo dont text me then not text me
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
