the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
