Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just sent this text using only my big toe
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize