I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
