Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.

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(727): View more from Florida

Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus

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(314): View more from Missouri

totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.

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(254): View more from Texas

The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...

(1-918): View more from Oklahoma

there were a lot.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.

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