At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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