you didnt know i had herpes?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
