so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize