just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He felt like a one man threesome
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
