god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I intend to get homeless drunk
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
