Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
