Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My vagina is very pro this idea
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
