i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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