we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
