He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
even my farts smell like vagina
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
