I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
