You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
