He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Boobs are out for the taking
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize