Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
