sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
