You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
