Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just had sex bonerless
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
