Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
