So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just google imaged poop.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
