she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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