Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i think my tv is drunk
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
