Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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